Yesterday my youngest son asked me to play catch. He is home on summer break after his freshman year at college.

When he was younger, my youngest son loved baseball. He met me at the car when I got home from work, ball gloves in his arms ready to play catch. He quit playing after his freshman year in high school. He was a good player, not a great player. Still, I hated for him to give up the game he had loved so much for so long.

The smell of the leather glove and the red seams on the white ball brought back vivid memories of my little boy. I did not see the tall young man standing across the yard, but my little eight year old boy, enjoying time with his dad.

NFL Week 1

September 12, 2010

Here are my picks — all straight up.

saints over Vikes

Giants over Carolina

Dolphins over Bills

Falcons over Steelers

Bears beat Lions

Patriots over Bengals

Browns over Bucks. Will anyone care?  Will anyone watch?

Broncos over Jags

Colts over Texans.  This is almost too close to call.

Titans over Raiders

Packers over eagles

49ers over Seahawks

cardinals over rams

Cowboys edge the Redskins

You will have to take my word tha tI picked the Saints before the game.

Do it for the children

December 8, 2009

While I am in one of these moods, let me expand on a post I published back around September 11th. You can look it up, I don’t feel like it.

If you believe any of the following…

FDR knew about and allowed Pearl Harbor to happen
The CIA whacked JFK
9/11 was an inside job
That man-made <strike>global warming</strike> climate change exists

…you should immediately put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger — preferably a large caliber weapon or a shotgun. Since most of the idiots that believe the above are leftist gun-fearing pussies, I suggest you just go to local market and buy some Drano and drink it down.

Hell, you liberal global climate change tree huggers are all about population control, put your money where your mouth is and just off yourself. Give Darwinism a chance. Abort yourself. Die for what you believe in. Your decaying body will be one giant carbon offset! Just think what your decomposing body will do for your compost pile.

Go all Monkey Wrench Gang on yourself. Consider this, with every ignorant mouth breathing exhale you are spewing evil CO2 into the atmosphere. You are killing Gaea for your grandkids. How can you live with that knowledge? Good God, it is a miracle Captain Planet hasn’t come by to kick your ass regularly.

Better yet, go kill yourself in the woods. After all, animals have rights, who are you to deny them the right to eat you? Have a right-thinking Conservative friend shoot you. That will be one less bullet for the war mongers to use. That is one less round available to kill an innocent grandma working at the 7-11. Do not forget to make your shooter promise to drive your Prius when he takes you for your last ride. We wouldn’t want to waste precious natural resources ridding the world of your ignorance. Maybe you should drive yourself off a tall cliff in an SUV. It will rid the world of a moron and a gas guzzler. I consider that a real two-fer-one Christmas gift. If you can’t do it for me, do it for the children.

how about that

November 11, 2009

I got 28 hits over a two day period last week.

If it was you, thanks.

Leave a comment, say Hola.

If you comment, I will post more often.

 

Reflections

October 30, 2009

When I was young I wanted nothing more than to be famous. Now I could think of nothing that would be worse. If I analyze it a little deeper, what I want is what most of us desire — immortality. We are all going to die, no one gets out alive, but maybe we can exit and not be forgotten.

I once thought I would write a book. Even if one dusty copy survived in the stacks of a lone library, I would live forever. The only problem is I have neither the talent nor the imagination to make it happen.

I will live on through my kids. What kind of memory will I leave? I have tried to be a good father. Too bad my children grew up during some bad times financially. They spent their youth with the old man on the road travelling the world in an effort to make a living. I missed a few concerts and games, but not many. At the time I am sure they did not care. Short tempers, whispered arguments about money and hard times I hope we hid from their collective memories are all I can hope for now.

I find myself these days in a weird place. For the first time in my life I feel lost and alone. The wife takes me for granted and the kids are indifferent, they have their own lives to lead. I have not been much of a son or brother. I am tired of being angry over real and imagined slights. I am tired of being mad at my work, at politics, at the world. Some days I feel like I have not laughed in weeks.

I should consider myself lucky. I have known a couple of good dogs. I have owned a cat or two. I have a few very good friends, and a wife who I really believe loves me. I have my three kids. And there is this little bit of shit and wit.

Here I am an average guy living an average life and bored to pieces. It is a sad comment on one’s life when you step back and realize if I disappeared tomorrow I would leave a mighty tiny ripple in the lake of life. Beyond my family, few would care. I bet thirty people would attend my wake. That is sad, not for me, but that I have done so little to make an impression on my community and the world at large.

Fear not you faithful readers, there is nothing wrong, I am alive and kicking. You will read my opinions, my bad jokes, my rantings and the mundane aspects of pathetic life for a time to come. Sometimes one has to take stock of his life, and I am afraid my positive tallies are pretty small. I blame no one but myself.

I bet I am not alone. Millions of us toil away each day in anonymity, hoping to raise our children in the best way possible. We love our country, our God, our spouse, our kids. We worry about bills, about the noise in the car, the cough in the next room. We worry about work and fret over tonight’s dinner.

We watch TV and root for our favorite team and just live life the best we can. We are not talented. We are not famous. We are lost souls trying to make our way in the world without an instruction manual.

We grow old an die. We are mourned by a few and forgotten by most.

I used to have this quotation stuck on my bulletin board:

<strong>The fly sat on the chariot wheel and said look what a dust I raise</strong>

We are alive today, and that has to be enough.

Freddie made a comment the other day that struck home with me.  She said

I figure you must like to argue HB. I’m way too hotheaded for that.

Not you, though. I think you DO make some headway sometimes. But it seems like a LOT of work, for almost no reward.

It does seem that way. I started my other blog in March of 2005. It seems like forever in the past. At the time I was working in a remote office, alone. I worked for a very small Italian company as their sole representative in the US. All I did was sales. Customer service, quality, engineering, invoicing were all handled elsewhere. I had little to no contact with people outside of my customers. Business was good, but new sales were nearly impossible to gain, as our company had a very limited product offering, and a person can only spend so many hours a day prospecting. Over months and years the list of possible customers shrinks.

I had worked alone for a number of years. In those cases order entry and customer service as well as engineering etc. were on shore. There was no 6 hour time difference. I talked to people in the company every couple of days. Sometimes we had long conversations. I often traveled with marketing and product managers. In other words, there was a lively give and take. With the Italians, there was little to no contact.

I guess you could say I was bored. I would go days or even a week speaking to nary a soul during the day. The wife would head for work and the kids to school. I drove to my office and spent the next eight hours with no human contact. I needed a release, someone to tell my jokes, rant my politics. The wife had heard my bad puns for far too long and she had no interest in politics, so it was time to spew my many thoughts to someone, even it was an audience of zero on the interwebz.

It took a long time for anyone to notice. Like many of you, The Acidman sent me a nice email with sound advice. He told me to find my own voice, a task I have yet to master. Maybe I can reach that goal here. In any case the other place has built a small but loyal following of 60 to 100 hits a day. I am happy with that. It is the outlet I need to ssdiscuss politics, tell jokes, rant about sports.

I know some readers do not like me to spend so much time on politics. I do like to argue, and since I am trying to be honest here on this site, I really do like to be right. It is a character flaw I have worked on, but sometimes I can not help myself. I am not the bulldog I once was, but often I cannot let idiots have their say without pointing out they are idiots. With the exception of “that one site”, I rarely offer arguments on other people’s blogs. In fact I rarely comment. I think I have little to add to the conversation, or it has already been said or I post my thoughts at my own site. I love comments, but spare others my brain dribbles.

Anyway, yes it is a lot of work for little reward. But I love every minute of it. I post away almost every day, having the conversations I do not have at home or work. With the exception of my brother and one or two bloggers I have met, I am an anonymous shouter in the windy ethernet. I plug away in the confines of my home office, my famlly oblivious to my weird hobby. I like it that way.

So here we are. This site is nearly year old and I rarely post to it. I think I will use it to place my more personal stuff, like this post. Stuff I do not care to share with the multitudes. Over time, the need for approbation and acceptance will lead me to post links and try for the hits that make blogging worthwhile. I have no illusions. Typing one-sided conversations to the internet is no different than talking to yourself in a second stroy office.

It is weird, you want people to show up, but when they do it spoils the whole thing. Some of you bloggers will understand.

If you accidently showed up here, you are welcome. If you came on purpose, Thank you.

I will end quoting the most worthwhile thing ever written by Kurt Vonnegut:

“and so it goes…”

He lives

April 29, 2009

I am still alive. Posting at the main site.  The Chronicles is here as an escape hatch.

Patience Donkey…

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